By Raven Bren
When I was pretty young, maybe six or so, my mother and I had a
type of verbal ritual. I’d be hanging around the house, bugging her,
whining about nothing to do. She’d stop whatever she was doing and
turn to me and say, “I’m not your ringmaster, go find your own
circus.”
I always understood I was being sent out to play. As I got
older, there were times I’d complain of being bored and she’d start
the saying and I’d finish with, “Okay, I’m going to go find my own
circus”.
I would suggest not much has changed despite becoming an adult.
When tired with work or bored with all the have to’s, most of us turn
on the TV, scroll FB, review our to-do lists and just whine that life is
not so much fun.
Whenever happened to being sent out to play?
When I think of play, numerous words, pictures, and feelings fall into
my consciousness automatically, many from very different
perspectives.
I think of youth and childhood, exploration, curiosity.
I think of action and movement.
I think of laughter ringing.
I think of activities that challenge my brain but have some kind of
sweet payoff.
I think of spontaneous overload of creativity that must be expressed.
I think of wonder and awe of something not yet experienced.
I think of heightened emotional states and juicy feelings of
excitement.
I think of endorphins surging.
I think of companionship and friends, of safe places, and trust.
I think of that good kind of exhaustion that brings sleep with a sweet
smile.
I know emphatically that my life and the lives of most of my friends
do not include enough play. We are busy with work. For most of us
work is not-play. Most of us work at jobs for pay and we work hard
and put in long hours and why? Beyond the basic necessities of life, I
believe secretly it is so we can have more to “play with”. If not, why
not just scale back our necessities.
For most of us play involves some level of outlay of our hard-earned
income or at least the investment of some. That is, unless you create
cool games from rocks and dirt, which is how Mancala came about as
the first game developed by humans. Unfortunately, now if we want
to play a cleaner version of Mancala, we have to buy it. See, an outlay
of $$ to some degree.
So I think there are two good excuses right there for not so much
play. “I don’t have the time AND I don’t have the money for play!”
So, my personal philosophy is that we have all the time we need; it’s
just a matter of carving it out. We can literally make time through
rearranging our priorities.
This often requires saying NO to some things to be able to say YES to
others. Sometimes it means being just a wee bit selfish, to allow
others to make their own choices and take care of themselves so we
can have some play-time for ourselves. It means being really
intentional about it. Make a play date for yourself. I know this feels as
though it eliminates the cool factor of spontaneity, but it is really
about creating a habit. Then, spontaneous play, once it feels safe
being in your life, can visit more frequently down the road.
To do this, we need to create a different mindset about it being okay
to have fun and make the time for it to return to our reality, without
guilt and without feeling like we took something away from
something or someone else to have it. With this more carefree
mindset, spontaneous play will feel more comfortable being a part of
our everyday lives. It will feel more natural and the need to carve out
time for it will diminish.
But, but, but… what about the money? Regardless of what play
means, it usually costs money. Travel, equipment, games, whatever it
involves, there is always some investment of money.
Again, my philosophy of “there is always more than enough” kicks in.
Always, it is about choice. Do we choose to work a few extra hours so
we can have more expendable income? Can we choose to forego some
purchase so we can spend a silly amount of money doing a zip line
and a catamaran cruise for an anniversary? My husband and I once
gave up a week’s groceries to do just that very thing and I fed us on
whatever was left in the pantry. Not easy, but it was worth it.
There are times when our play is something we already have. It
means a little more effort to look around at what we have available
now with no additional outlay of that hard-earned cash. It requires
more creativity. Sometimes the fun is IN the creativity of making fun
where none may be obvious.
For example, my husband plays online Scrabble with a number of his
friends. We have a beautiful Scrabble game that has been sitting in
the top of the closet for years. We pulled it out one weeknight and
stayed up to an ungodly hour playing. We laughed, created our own
rules, and lost valuable sleep over it. It was fun. And the energy from
the memories of it far outweighed any lost sleep.
My point is, sometimes we have to choose one thing over another to
have enough to do this or that, which needs to be fun now such as our
anniversary fun. Other times, when there is no extra and fewer
choices, we have to look around, get our creative juice flowing and
make some fun.
As children, we had a creative ability to make fun with nothing more
around us than the entire world we saw. Playground equipment
became monsters to be slain and sand and pebbles were gourmet
meals. We had games grown from our fertile imaginations, creating
elaborate stories we could then spend hours playing roles in, until we
were called to dinner. And then we grew up and got lost in all the
musts and shoulds that consume our waking hours. And the only
wonder we tend to share is that of why we are so tired. We loose our
sense of play.
I suggest a return to a simpler time, if only for a bit of time, away
from our adult-ness and back to when we dreaded being called in for
supper.
Adult coloring is all the rage and I am an enthusiastic participant. The
interesting thing is, that I wasn’t able to begin enjoying it until I let
myself stop caring about it being good enough and simply allowed
myself to play with it. As children we would color, show it off for five
seconds, and then forget out it. The secret was in the joy of the doing
and the appreciation, not in the product.
Life is not about getting it right. Life can truly be about enjoyment.
And although we probably won’t enjoy every moment of it, creating
time… intentional time… to play, can remind us of the joy that is our
birthright. Play doesn’t take energy, it gives energy.
So my challenge to you, dear friends, is to create for yourself some
playtime. Carve out a couple of hours a week; get your creative juices
flowing. Be your own ringmaster and create your own circus.
Raven Bren is a Crone, a writer, a grandmother, mother and wife with stories to share from her many years of life experience and too many hours in the sun pondering the meaning of life. She has recently moved back to her beloved Columbia after spending the last twelve years out on the west coast. Now retired to the boondocks, she has even more time for sharing thoughts in her areas of interest: the cosmos, why are we here, relationships, physics and consciousness, manifesting the life we desire, and how to keep deer from eating the lilacs. With wit and wisdom, rough edges and all, Raven invites you into her world… bring coffee.
Noted Witch, Writer, Teacher, & Healing Practitioner, Christopher Penczak will be coming back to HBS on November 17, 2016 for a free Meet & Greet and Book-Signing (6-7 pm) followed by a workshop on Animal Spirits, Totems, & Familiars (7-9 pm). The author of over 20 books (most of which you can find here at HBS!), Christopher is the co-founder of the Temple of Witchcraft and its 5-level Mystery School, with each year associated with one of the four elements of Fire (Inner Temple of Witchcraft), Earth (Outer Temple of Witchcraft), Water (Shamanic Temple of Witchcraft), & Air (Temple of High Witchcraft / Ceremonial Magick & the Qabala). The the fifth and final Seminary Year of the Temple Mystery School, The Living Temple of Witchcraft, is the Temple’s Seminary program and corresponds to Spirit. (Learn more at www.TempleofWitchcraft.org) Christopher is a sought after teacher internationally as well as nationally, the winner of many awards for his books, and a widely-respected healer and teacher of all paths Magickal. We are so excited to be his host here at HBS!
